Loveless in Ponyville
by Thunder Magus
Summary: I had a recent bout of severe depression, so I decided to get it off my chest by writing myself as a unicorn stallion named Thunder. Everything Thunder feels and expresses here is one hundred percent real to my RL self. What troubles Thunder? Why should he feel so sad? Read to find out.


A lone unicorn stallion named Thunder trudged through Ponyville's main road as he sighed through his nostrils, head lowered in shame and doubt. Sadness gleamed in his blue eyes as he pondered to himself various possibilities for his situation; the situation that had tormented him ever since he was a teenager. Although he was 26 years old, he could hardly consider himself a stallion… more of a colt, really. Thunder was a good bit shorter and sleeker than the average stallion, and he certainly lacked the average stallion's confidence, toughness and physical ability. A lack of mental tenacity had always marked him as a very shy, sensitive and emotional individual as well. Perhaps it was this combination of things that had resulted in his situation: at 26 years old, he had NEVER had a special somepony. No mare outside his family had ever loved him.

He DID have a few talents. A single lightning bolt for a cutie mark, which he gained from his ability to conjure electricity into his horn after watching a thunderstorm in fascination one spring afternoon. He was allegedly a skilled writer as well, but this never helped him get over his loneliness.

Out of the corner of his eye, Thunder spied a teenage couple kissing right out in the open for everypony to see. The stallion of the couple was, of course, was a tall, suave looking specimen wearing that same confident smirk Thunder'd seen so many times, while the mare was a pretty little thing wearing what he guessed was at least five pounds of makeup.

Thunder shook his head and growled, but didn't bother to quicken his moping pace. He didn't really have anywhere to go, he simply felt the need to wander about in hopes that the fresh air would help to clear his head and relieve him of his worries. Giggling filled the air above as a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail fled from a well-built pegasus stallion with bushy eyebrows and a mane stuffed stiff with gel. He, too, wore the smug smirk of a typically ladies' man as he and the rainbow mare continued their little game of chase.

An annoyed burst of air shot from Thunder's nostrils as he continued about his walk, by now reaching Ponyville's town square where the fountain stood. Nervousness swelled within his gut as he spied a lone unicorn mare staring into the water. Her coat was a shade of light blue and her plain straight mane was light brown. Perhaps not a perfect beauty, but still a cute girl who just happened to be alone. Perhaps this was Thunder's chance.

What should he say? What he do? He'd heard so many rules about what to say and what NOT to say, as well as what to do and what NOT to do when talking to a mare for the first time if you wanted to make a good impression. Don't back away too much, that would show shyness and thus, a lack of confidence. A stallion also didn't want to be too forward and aggressive.

With a deep breath of courage, Thunder approached. No sooner had he done this than another mare walked up to the one he had his eyes on. This mare had a pink coat and a blond mane.

"Hey, lover girl!" the pink mare said with a wide smile. "How was your date with Turbo?"

The blue-coated mare squirmed and blushed under her friend's words like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush. "It was great! He's so nice and sweet, and sexy! Slap me, because this is too good to be true!"

Both mares squealed in delight and reared up on their hind hooves to embrace each other. Thunder stomped a forehoof and continued on his way.

Wasn't there ANYWHERE he could go to get away from all this lovey-doveyness? _Rub it in my face a little more, why don't you?_ Thunder grumbled to himself.

Another mare walked down the road in Thunder's opposite direction. She had a long pink mane separated into two locks and a yellow coat. Her cutie mark came in the form of three pink butterflies. Another cute mare, but probably way too good for him. Nonetheless, Thunder smiled at her as their paths crossed and gave a silent nod of acknowledgement. The mare smiled back for a second, then wilted under the attention and ran off with a nervous squeak.

Thunder wilted as well, on the verge of tears. Was he so repulsive that females had to RUN from him for smiling at them? Once he reached the outskirts of town where he was certain he could be alone, Thunder sat down on his haunches. His walk had only made him feel WORSE. He should have just stayed at home where he wouldn't have to be reminded why he wasn't good enough for anypony. Just as he was prepared to give up and let the tears flow, a smiling pink Earth pony with a matching puffy tail and mane bounced down the road. Upon seeing the lonely unicorn, she stopped her hopping and stood in front of him.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Not a whole lot," Thunder mumbled.

"How can you look so sad on a day like this? It's Hearts and Hooves Day!" The pink mare stood on her hind legs and spread her forelegs wide, as if she wanted to hug the day itself.

"Exactly."

Pinkie dropped back down to all fours. Her smile was now missing. "Oh no. You don't have a special somepony, do you?"

"Nope. I'm not the kind of guy who gets dates."

"Awww. Why not?"

Another couple consisting of a handsome, taller stallion and an average sized mare walked down the road to Pinkie's back.

"That's why," Thunder answered, pointing a hoof at the passing couple. "I'm not tall or handsome or suave or confident or anything that a stallion is supposed to be."

"Aw, come on, life's not just about love, silly unicorn! It's about having super-duper fantastic fun with the time you have and making others smile, smile, smile! That's what keeps me goin'!"

"Fun, huh?" Thunder scoffed. "It's not always easy to have fun when you're always doing what you like to do… alone. Never having anyone to share it with, nopony who thinks you're worth enough to hold and kiss and give your heart to."

"Well, what do you like about yourself?" a second voice called. Thunder looked to his right to see a wide-banged violet unicorn mare had joined the pink mare.

"I don't know the answer to that anymore. I used to like the fact that I'm nice and respectful, but then I see guys who are just total jerks and girls go gaga over them. It makes me feel like I've done something wrong in the scope of the dating world."

"Ouch," the purple unicorn said. "Yeah, this is a tough day to be alone, I know that much. You need to love yourself, though, before anypony else can love you."

Thunder only moaned. He'd heard that one before. How do you love yourself when you're constantly surrounded by something so universal as love and dating, yet haven't been good enough for it? He could have started dating ten years ago, but NOOOO. Instead, he'd just been sitting on the sidelines watching everypony else dating and falling in love, even getting married before they were his age.

"Have you tried anything to fix your being alone?" The purple unicorn spoke up once again in light of the sudden silence.

"Yes, I have."

"Like what?" Pinkie asked.

"Let's see… dating sites, fan groups, coworkers, volunteer work, church, prayer. Nothing has worked."

"Sorry to hear that," Twilight Sparkle replied. She looked over her shoulder, back towards Ponyville. "Listen, I'm sorry, but my friends and I are having an H&H Day party, so we both really need to get going."

"Wanna come?" Pinkie asked with a big smile.

"Hearts and Hooves Day party?" Thunder shook his head. "No thanks. The last thing I need right now is to be at a party surrounded by ponies who AREN'T single."

"Okey-dokey!" Pinkie shouted. She followed her violet friend back towards the village of ponies.

"Good luck!" Twilight called over her shoulder.

_Yeah, right. I'll need it_ Thunder thought to himself. Once the two mares were gone, he walked farther away from Ponyville and into a thick blanket of tries where he'd be better hidden. Now that there was nopony around to bug him for it, Thunder dropped to his belly, buried his face into his shanks and cried.


End file.
